if u touch my thigh under a table in public u can bet ur sweet bippy that ur gonna be gettin some later.
7th November 2013
Reblogged From logists
Notes: 573568
HOLD UP. DO YOU SEE THESE FUCKERS? THESE COOKIES ARE THE BEST MOTHERFUCKERS IN THE WHOLE BLOODY WORLD. NOT ONLY ARE THEY EASY AS SHIT TO BAKE, BUT THEY’RE FUCKING DELICIOUS BOTH BAKED AND UN-BAKED. THAT’S RIGHT. DON’T HAVE AN OVEN? NO FUCKING PROBLEM FOR THESE BAD-ASSES. YOU CAN JUST BUY A TUBE, POP IT OPEN, AND BOOM, LATE NIGHT SNACK. WHEN THEY ARE COOKED, THEY’RE SOFTER THAN YOUR GRANDMA’S CHEEK AND EVEN WHEN THEY GET HARDER THEY’RE CRUNCHY LIKE A FUCKING PRINGLE AND MELT IN YOUR MOUTH. THEY DON’T GIVE A FUCK, THEY’RE JUST FUCKING DELICIOUS.
most accurate description ever
Introducing. The Fabulous. Pronto Condom.
Amazing
what a time to be alive
(Source: toptumbles.com)
this is what our tax dollars pay for
good
nothing is more satisfying than boys with boners u helpless weak fool who can’t even control your own dick i laugh at your embarrassment
what i mean when i say “i can’t do that” - the depression edition
- i am unable to do that
- i don’t have the energy to do that
- i cannot wrap my head around what you’re asking me to do
- there is too much in my head right now
- i can not do that
what people hear:
- i am unwilling to do that
- i am being stubborn for no reason
- i am being dramatic
- i am lazy
- i need you to repeat that only louder
- i need a push
- i don’t want to do that
Bless this post
YOU KNOW WHATS HORRIBLE, WHEN YOU HAVE A CRUSH. NOT A FUCKING “OOH ID PUT MY CHIP IN THEIR DIP” BUT A FUCKING CRUSH THATS SO STRONG THAT YOU CAN IMAGINE THEM HUGGING YOU FROM BEHIND, AND PUTTING THEIR FACE TO YOUR BACK OR NECK. THEIR LITTLE SLEEP SOUNDS AND THEIR DISGUSTING MORNING BREATH THAT YOU DON’T MIND BECAUSE YOUR CRUSH IS THAT FUCKING STRONG
shoutout to girlcode for being fabulous
Be prepared to participate in no dick december
be prepared to be told that no one wants your misogynistic dick anyway you arrogant shit
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